By Crispin O.
Dah!
If you’ve never impregnated a weird human being that is disguising as a regular human being you don’t know how lucky you are.
The kain wahala you will see ehn!
It will be following you like MTN everywhere you go.
I was just on my own o. Deputy Editor that year just minding my life.
That’s how some students from a university in Nasarawa came to ask me to come and give them career talk at one event like that.
Of course they were not paying but I sha agreed to go. Give back to society and all that.
I got to the venue, somewhere in one of the Zones. Educational Resource Centre or somewhere like that.
After speaking my grammar, I carried myself and was going jejely when two students ran to meet me by my car.
They said something like, “Sir, we really enjoyed your talk. Please can we have your number in case we have any question to ask you later?”
My mind must have been somewhere else that afternoon because if not I should have decoded the game.
I mean, which kain yeye question do these girls want to ask me later that they couldn’t ask there and then?
I sha gave them my number and went home.
Fast forward to evening time. Unknown number called me as I was strolling to a restaurant around my area.
It was one of the girls. Could she see me as she really wanted to discuss something important with me?
I said okay and told her where I was.
Within some minutes she arrived at the restaurant. Of course I bought her dinner and we chatted for a bit.
She was studying Theatre Arts. Final year.
Time to go and I offered to pay for her taxi. But she hesitated and I wasn’t born yesterday.
So we strolled back to my place. And she was going on about nice neighbourhood and such.
I used to live in Wuse Two back then but I didn’t think anything special about it.
Then heavy rain came down. Weather for two. And we were two. And the rubber bursted.
Morning came and I did the needful.
Enough cash to cover the bursted rubber.
Asked the girl, “Are we good?”
She said we were good.
So tell me why this girl will text me some weeks later at midnight:
“I am pregnant. Good night.”
I called her the next morning.
We talked for a bit. Then I asked what she would like to do. She said she needed cash and she’ll take care of herself.
Nothing like transfer that year o. So I sent 6k MTN recharge card so she could sell and get cash.
Next day she calls again. She tells me the money is not enough. That they told her it’s now more than before.
Okay now.
I sent another 6k worth of recharge card.
But the next day, this girl calls again!
Haba!
This time, she says she doesn’t want to do anything about it. That she has changed her mind.
“What does that mean, mbok?” I ask.
“It means you have to come let’s go and see my mother.”
I said, “Okay, give me a day to think about it.”
Next day I call her and tell her that I’m ready to go meet her mother.
We agree that we’ll go to Enugu at the weekend.
So tell me why is this girl at my office in Zone 6 early the next morning?
She tells me she has changed her mind again!
Ha! Wahala!
So what does she want to do now?
That her friend knows a doctor here in Abuja that can take care of everything, but he’s expensive.
So now I need salary advance. I tell my Editor. My Editor wants to know why. I tell her everything.
And now my Editor wants to meet the girl.
I go back to my office and bring the girl.
My Editor says to excuse them, talks to her for a while, then gives her some money to go back to school.
After the girl leaves, my Editor says, “She’s really pregnant. I like her. She’s honest but confused. If it’s marriage, we’ll go. But don’t give her any money again. Let her make up her mind.”
After that, whenever I called she kept saying she was still thinking about it.
Then later she wouldn’t pick my calls again.
And that’s how the whole matter died.
